Quackery
Fiction

The Moon, 10,001 BC

He waited, trembling, for them to call his name. He didn’t want Princess Poodypop to make fun of him.

“John Pickypuss!”

And, of course, laughter ensued. Hahahaha. “John!” Seriously, what kind of name is that?? Stupid parents!

“Here!” He slumped his head in shame. “Frap! Every single time!!!”

What he did not notice, however, was Princess Poodypop’s delightful gaze as she snookered over and sat next to him.

“I like your name. It’s sooo… cute!” She placed her hand on his shoulder, causing his heart to leap wildly from his chest.

First day at the Atlantian Underwater Moon Academy, and he had already made his mark!

“Um, I like your name too, Princess Poppycock.” He turned ghastly white and winced as if shot by five harpoons. “Poodypop! I meant Poodypop!”

She laughed so forcefully her perfectly tailored red locks flopped over her radiant face. “You are soooo cute!!!”

Confidence restored, he wiped the sweat from his face and relaxed.

After classes, John accompanied the Princess along the Lunar Mare Tunnel, which ran the length of the sea floor, offering picturesque views of moonfish and the dreaded dragonfish of Tranquility Bay.

“So, how long have you been living here underwater on the moon?” Whew, he did it. An ENTIRE sentence! No gaffes! “Smooth, John, smooth!” he thought.

“Um, only a year or so, underwater. But I’ve lived on the moon for several years.”

“I’m originally from Mars,” he shrugged apologetically.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him, “I’m not one of those anti-Mars girls!”

Whew. Good. “Mars is too red,” he paused, and smacked himself in the head. “Frap. Not that there’s anything wrong with red, ‘cause your hair is red…”

“You are SO SILLY!” And with that, Princess Poodypop kissed him right on the lips. Overwhelmed with emotions surging through his body uncontrollably, he fainted.

When he awoke minutes later, her blurry face morphed into the picture of pristine beauty. His heart pounded as though it would smack her in the face any moment.

“I love you, Poppycock,” were the words that escaped his lips, and his brain, before he could do anything to stop them.

She blushed and laughed hysterically. “You are SOOOO SILLY!!!” And once again, a peck on the lips.

At that moment, he realized… he FINALLY had his first Atlantian girlfriend! He instantly conjured up visions of sailing the lunar mares together and deep-mare diving; riding the moonfish side-by-side and holding on tightly as they bucked twenty feet into the air and crashed back into the waves. Why, they could grab a sail barge and circumnavigate the moon, serenaded by a Jovian Chorus, solar wind in their hair….

Nothing else from that moment on mattered anymore. Not the Moon Wars. Not the scary dragonfish or moon dragons which hid in the craters. All he could think about was that SMILE and those lovely locks of red! Oh, and dimples!

John Pickypuss and Pricess Poodypop. Prince and Princess of the Moon. Forever and ever and ever!

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About Quackzalcoatl

Phoneticist, Palindrologist, and freelance Sharknadologist. Inventor. Ruler of 2-acre lakes and small streams.

Discussion

One thought on “The Moon, 10,001 BC

  1. Hi there, every time i used to check blog posts here
    early in the morning, because i enjoy to learn more
    and more.

    Posted by body | 19 September, 2013, 5:58 am

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