Quackery
Theology

Suck It, Atheists. Wahahahaha!!!

Invocation-by-WJMNow that Macbooks have proven conclusively beyond any doubt that God exists, I wonder how long it will be before atheism finally dies. I mean, I’ve done the math myself. Checked it twice. Turns out, it all adds up to God, with a remainder of 1. (What the remainder means, is anyone’s guess.)

By interesting coincidence, I just so happened to have met William J. Murray this past Sunday when I went to listen to him speak for a bit. For the uninitiated, Mr. Murray is the son of the late Madalyn Murray O’Hair, founder of American Atheists who led the charge in banning God from public life. Though raised as a militant pro-communist atheist, Mr. Murray had an epiphany in 1980 and switched from atheism to becoming a born-again Christian, and has since become a major Christian evangelist. How in the world could this happen? Here was a man who openly mocked the faith he now devotes his entire life to, and he’s very brazen about it. Is he merely confused? Brainwashed by maniacal evangelical super-agents? Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, there actually is a God who revealed Himself just as he claims.

9780840752567I know it’s not very intellectual to suggest the existence of anything that hasn’t been confirmed by mainstream science. But what the heck do they know? Dark Matter? Seriously?? Maybe they should invest in a few Macbooks and catch up with things. God’s a proven fact now, so the debate is over. Sheesh.

I guess the thing that’s always bummed me out about atheism is, well, it’s BORING and completely unimaginative. And depressing as hell. Who the heck wants to just have a few years here on this earth and then just poof out of existence?? LAME. At least give me some reincarnation or disembodied spirit action. I’m far too imaginative to just go with a fizzle. Plus, it doesn’t explain much of anything that really matters in a way that makes any sense to me. There is a greater reality than this little virtual exercise in spacetime. We’ve always known it, since the very beginning of our existence back in 4004 BCE, when man and dinosaur lived in harmony and talking serpents hung out in fruit trees. Get over it already.

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About Quackzalcoatl

Phoneticist, Palindrologist, and freelance Sharknadologist. Inventor. Ruler of 2-acre lakes and small streams.

Discussion

5 thoughts on “Suck It, Atheists. Wahahahaha!!!

  1. Fantastic! Best “religious” rant ever!

    Posted by Angel | 1 November, 2013, 6:11 am
  2. And depressing as hell.

    Ah, yes. I can see that. That’s what led me to seek out God to begin with.

    Posted by Alice | 1 November, 2013, 8:06 am
    • The ancients, who were infinitely more intelligent than we are today, all wrote of gods and supernatural forces. We assume they were primitive and mistaken. Ummm… they built the pyramids. And Stonehenge. And they didn’t need computers or machines to do it with. I’m thinking we’ve lost quite a bit of knowledge over the years, and that we’re the primitive ones…

      Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 1 November, 2013, 8:48 am
  3. The Macbook theorum prospect seems like it could be used equally to debunk proof of God once it has been proven, hypothetically.

    “I’m far too imaginative to just go with a fizzle.” Exactly. It’s the staple of religionism: if you can’t figure out if it’s real, then accomplish the means through delusion.

    Posted by LEjames | 1 November, 2013, 2:41 pm

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