Quackery
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Pancreatheism

The past two weeks of my life have succumbed to that internal entity we know as Pancreas. I am beginning to wonder if this beast has just issued my death warrant.

It seems we are prepared for most things, diseases of other internal organs, and we have prevention and treatment and can prepare ourselves for their pathology — but the pancreas remains elusive. The only disease process we understand is diabetes. Anything else, good luck.

I’m fortunate this round of pancreatitis didn’t kill me. I waited to the point where I couldn’t breathe through the pain, and the 15-pound bulge in my gut looked like I was pregnant. So a week in hospital led to something yet more harrowing: a 50-hour toxic storm, where my brain became so overloaded with neural stimulation that I underwent a complete nervous breakdown. I didn’t sleep for three days, talking and babbling non-stop incoherently, crying and laughing uncontrollably, talking to things that weren’t there, recreating past conversations, almost reaching the point where I would finally blow a gasket. Fortunately, I crashed, and a few good days of “normal” have helped restore some of my health.

Needless to say, I was quite unprepared for this illness. I knew little to nothing about it. No ideas yet as to what triggers it or what I can do to prevent it again in the future. At any rate, back to blogging and digging in…

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About Quackzalcoatl

Phoneticist, Palindrologist, and freelance Sharknadologist. Inventor. Ruler of 2-acre lakes and small streams.

Discussion

19 thoughts on “Pancreatheism

  1. You are in my prayers.

    I sincerely and deeply hope for your recovery.

    Posted by silenceofmind | 27 February, 2014, 9:38 am
  2. WOW! Those are the most understated 236 words I have seen in a very long time!
    Glad your are back at a keyboard and “digging in.” I guess that “normal” takes awhile to follow this.
    Big virtual hug …

    Posted by paulfg | 27 February, 2014, 10:22 am
  3. Holy crap, I’m so sorry to hear this. Wishing you the fastest possible recovery.

    Posted by john zande | 27 February, 2014, 10:22 am
  4. Wow. That really sucks. Glad you came through it and I hope your pancreas has learned a valuable lesson and behaves itself henceforth… or you’ll put it through all that again.

    Posted by tildeb | 27 February, 2014, 1:18 pm
  5. Quack man that sounds really terrible! I’m sorry you have to go through all that and I hope things get better quickly and stay better.

    Posted by Howie | 27 February, 2014, 8:29 pm
  6. Here’s hoping it was a one-shot deal!

    Posted by jasonjshaw | 27 February, 2014, 10:25 pm
  7. Dear God! I hope I never get that disease as I seem to suffer those symptoms naturally. Thoughts and prayers to you, sweet Quack.

    Posted by kellsbellsfrompc | 27 February, 2014, 10:34 pm
  8. Don’t die on us yet…I still have plenty of insults to use.
    Seriously, all the best, my friend for a speedy recovery.

    Posted by Arkenaten | 28 February, 2014, 5:46 pm
  9. I don’t know what to say to you quack, but then, I don’t even know your name. I suppose you want to seperate yourself from the dangers of the net. For me, I’m asking big things from visitors to my blog and it’s vital they see and know who I am and why I am. I remember something about a quote of Jesus in the gospels teaching disciples to let their light shine, to not keep it hidden, but they also show the consequences for some to doso overweighs their faith in the promised rewards to do so.

    It seems to me there’s a terrible menacing power blanketing the entire planet, and it caught me and you quack. I’ve been having terrible fights with my brothers, as both are alternatives, and seemingly purely cynical, where everyone and everything, including me, is now evil ( but of couse, they’re NOT! ) Their mentality is fueled also by their long-standing quirks, and wrong attitudes and wrong values, or priority of values.

    I find myself rushing all the time, and I’m making so many mistakes. I’m not sleeping properly, nor watching enough my diet, and because I’m so poor, cutting costs to things, like food, clothing etc. I suppose somethings gotta ‘ break ‘, and it did… my lungs have been seriously damaged by this winters super-dry air. ( Because the caulking in my house’s widows doesn’t keep the heat and humidity in and I couldn’t repair that myself, and my brother wouldn’t do it, I*m trapped here, but God Bless my local mennonite christians ; their thriftstore and food bank, and other helping.

    I have survived because of Jesus, and so will you quack (^.^)

    Posted by gjpaul | 1 March, 2014, 7:31 am
    • I appreciate the encouragement. It’s quite humbling when your health quits on you. Family can be the least sympathetic to your plight. When things go wrong, everyone wants to tell you what you’ve done to cause it.

      Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 2 March, 2014, 11:49 pm
  10. Mrs. Q. is most likely spoiling you which is why you haven’t posted. I hear pineapple juice can counteract pickle juice. I guess Jesus never ate either….or did He?

    Posted by kellsbellsfrompc | 5 March, 2014, 12:33 pm
    • Chronic pancreatitis has sucked the life out of me. If I could just have a few minutes without pain and be able to eat something, that would be just super.

      Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 5 March, 2014, 1:33 pm
      • Well quack, we have more in common than you’d think. I’ve just finished a special prednisone anti-inflammatory treatment, AND its side-effects include ; intense emotional states, from anger to depression ; severe body-aches ; bruising ; blotting, stomach acid and burning ; constant hunger for food, particularly sweet ; sleeplessness ; confusion ; fatigue ; etc.

        ~ ~ ~

        Acquiesced faithful christians

        When a faithful christian believes and trusts Jesus will forgive them, they have ACQUIESCED to their own guilt, BUT this material life is designed to be selfish and harmful and why should we put the responsibility for we what we have been MADE to be and do on ourself !

        Furthermre, by the moral ideology of the gospels Jesus’s perfection, ALL are quilty of sin, and only they which CHOOSE TO JOIN to disavow their own selves and take-up selflessness will avoid the WRATH of CHRIST.

        Is He a Loving saviour ?

        HOWEVER, this type of thinking vindicates ALL offenders in this savage and immoral material life.

        ~ ~ ~

        There’s an orchestrated global campaign in the medias to saturate the mind’s and Hearts of all the world’s peoples with how evil this life is. All those medias, both news, including Aljazeera and Russian RT, and entertainment medias, including movie, TV and music, are reporting the same things and marketing terribly negative plot stories, AND, all news medias operate under an oligopoly of central news syndicates and entertainment corps, and ALL medias are all owned by only a few ultra-rich families ! ( and, these things have been like this for many generations ! )

        WHY ?

        Self-fulfilling ? Every one for themself ?

        We can see our families cannot find work, we have been forced into uncopeable debt, and those which do find work risk everything if they criticise the power establishment… which now happens to also be the owners.

        Our ONLY means to a life without illness and harm and injustice is LOVE.

        Is Jesus our Loving saviour ?

        Posted by gjpaul | 5 March, 2014, 2:06 pm
      • Well, hell! I thought you were cured! Now I just wanna give you one of my Weight Wacher’s chocolate-raspberry frozen-yogurt treats, and massage you! I feel sad.

        Posted by kellsbellsfrompc | 5 March, 2014, 3:12 pm
        • Nah, don’t let me bring you down, Kells. I turned 43 today, and most of those years have been profitable and healthy. My bucket list was accomplished before I turned 30, and I have few regrets in life. Not many can say that.

          At some point, in this life at least, things tend to even out. The rich become poor, the fortunate become destitute, etc. Such is the nature of things. If I’m properly medicated and bother to wear pants, you would never guess anything was wrong with me. I look better than I have at anytime since my college days, and I still have my wit and can laugh at most things. So if I have some sort of terminal mystery illness, rest assured I still have a good shot at being the best looking guy at my funeral. I’m going to demand a spray-on tan and shades, and remind people that where I’m concerned there’s gonna be FUN in FUNeral…

          Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 5 March, 2014, 6:53 pm
      • Quack, it’s a bit early to cash in don’t you think… the science of diseases, like pancreatitis, has lots more work to do. Homepathy lacks clinical trials, but my younger brother is an expert homeopath… EAT LOTS AND LOTS OF ORGANICALLY GROWN VEGYS… CLEANSE YOUR BOWELS… REDUCE YOUR STRESS BY STEPPING=AWAY FROM STRESSERS, LIKE NEGATIVE ISSUES… STAY AWAY FROM TV AND NEWS REPORTS… SIT OUTSIDE AND LET NATURE BATHE YOU IN IT’S RICH AND WONDERFUL LIFE… FIND A HEARTFUL FRIEND, LIKE A FEMININE SOUL, OR COMPASSIONATE GAY…

        Posted by gjpaul | 6 March, 2014, 5:03 am
  11. Wow. What a horrific ordeal. I hope you are better now.

    Posted by Snowjenn | 15 July, 2015, 4:40 am

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