Quackery
Theology

Answers and Witticisms, Part 1

Finally, after much sCreation_of_Adam_by_gatorvenomuspense, here are the long-awaited answers to the Questions post. Keep in mind that these are definitive, as I am a knower of all things, and that I have done my best, as always, to dumb it down as much as possible (for all you atheists out there).

Why? Why did He do it? What was the purpose in creating what the Bible describes as existence? Was God simply lonely, bored, looking for “motivation” to solve His own existential crisis?

Everything in existence, as we understand it, is a product of creation, with one lone exception — that eternal being we refer to as God, the one with the capital G, who before creation was everything when there was nothing else but God. Time and space, matter and antimatter — all of existence — emanated from His timeless, massless radiance and immeasurable power. Time and space exploded into being, and during an undetermined amount of time, the universe was formed into what we now see.

At some point early in the creative process, God created a hierarchy of hyperdimensional beings we know as angels and a plethora of others referred to as the “Heavenly Hosts,” whose purpose is to maintain and facilitate creation under the direction of the Creator (God’s “yes men”). This set the stage for His ultimate purpose.

The purpose of creation, quite simply, is to provide God with companionship. God, who from the eternal “now” is uniquely alone as the only uncreated, cannot create another exactly like Himself. Previously, I detailed how God may exist as three “separate” entities from the perspective of relativity — inside and outside of time and space, and as the incarnate deity — but these are all forms of the same solitary being. To create something which could fully relate to Him as an equal would require an extraordinary plan.

The plan began by determining the desired outcome — beings who willingly submit their lives to Him in an act of unconditional faith. The ramifications were configured to maximize return — a great multitude to share in an endless adventure beyond imagination. Note — “Heaven” will not be an eternal church service where we do nothing but “worship” and sing hymns to God forever and ever. What we will experience in the hereafter with God will be a sort of continuation of what we already know, except we will be immortal, without malice, amid perfection in a utopian paradise; chief among creation, higher than the angels, on equal footing with the Creator.

Such an outcome does not come cheaply, though the plan provides for maximum return. The first several hundred years ended in almost total ruin, as the initial Earth perished along with all but a handful of all living things. This was known before the plan ever came to fruition, yet the price was acceptable with regard to the ultimate outcome.

Addendum:

I realize many will read this and get all pissy about God laying waste to the world and wiping out millions of destructive heathens. It is not as though this happened suddenly without any warning. This was a series of natural catastrophes which culminated in global destruction. Only one man on the entire planet paid attention to the warning signs and prepared accordingly. The rest just buried their heads in the sand and kept screwing around and blowing each other up. They deserved their fate, and no one should feel sorry for them. Furthermore, just as in the cases of “genocide” later on, none of these people suffered a fate different from anyone else — they died. Everyone in this world dies at some point, and it ain’t always pretty. We live in an excrementally imperfect world. Get over it.

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About Quackzalcoatl

Phoneticist, Palindrologist, and freelance Sharknadologist. Inventor. Ruler of 2-acre lakes and small streams.

Discussion

15 thoughts on “Answers and Witticisms, Part 1

  1. Hard to know if you’re being serious or facetious.

    Heaven, though, is a logical impossibility. Ignoring the utter hellishness of “eternity,” claiming it is a place without sin is in error. The angels could, and did, sin there… so the story goes. Now, if man is prone to sin because of free will, then how could he possibility exist in heaven while maintaining this free will? Is, therefore, free will removed upon entering heaven, or can god make man so that he can have free will and not sin? If so, why not just run with that design in the first place?

    Posted by john zande | 22 March, 2014, 4:57 pm
    • Professor J, the amount of ignorance you display in your comment is absolutely appaling. Consequently, I am appalled. My appallation could very well be felt all the way to Brazil. That’s how appalled I am at your comment.

      You have no idea what Heaven is or what it’s purpose is. How could you? You don’t even recognize the existence of hyper-dimensions, hyper-dimensional beings, or have the slightest understanding of what constitutes “sin.”

      Once again, it seems you’ve essentially unleashed what amounts to an intellectual fart, and it wreaks of flatulent ignorance. It’s okay though — that’s why I’m here. To help you control this problem.

      I am, of course, just messing with you — for the most part. The thing about Heaven is, the Bible doesn’t say that we go on to live there. We might visit there briefly, but our infinite future will be spent on a renewed Earth within this universe. Our bodies will be immortal, and our minds filled with ultimate knowledge. But the difference between us and the various Heavenly beings is that we will have the mind and understanding of God. In this regard, how could anything tempt us, since we essentially have everything we could possibly desire already.

      As for why not just going with this design in the first place — I covered that in the post. As difficult as it might seem to understand, this is the design which best achieves the entire objective of creation. Humanity is meant to be the masters of the universe, like He-man and She-ra. Yeeehaaw!!!

      Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 22 March, 2014, 5:48 pm
      • I’m appalled that you’re appalled, but under the gaze of our Omnimalovent Creator we are treasured for our appallation.

        Immortal body? Why on earth keep bodies? They’re a terrible design! And what will we do with all the hormones? Think, lad, think… at least promise a spirit form, which can enjoy BBQ’s and fine red wine.

        Posted by john zande | 22 March, 2014, 7:29 pm
        • Part of being human requires a body, apparently. I always wondered about that, because I assumed from common misconception that we would be spirits floating around the cosmos. But that’s not what the Book of Books says. We leave our dead bodies momentarily at death, but at the “end of days” there is the resurrection — every molecule which once composed our bodies is evoluted into immortal form and sucks us into it like a genie into a bottle.

          I’ve experimented with the science behind this and have most of the process worked out. I just need more plutonium and deoxygenated water to finalize it.

          Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 23 March, 2014, 1:34 pm
  2. Interesting I think…Lifes Loving Mystical Presence ‘touched’ me again today (2014-03-22) and gave me this gift, and I want Love to rule ALL livingkind, so I offer Love’s gift to you…although one need not share my Faith to benefit from this report.

    Are We All Sitting Ducks?

    I do alot of sitting, particulary when I’m at my PC. Today the CBC Radio show “Quirks & Quarks” aired a report on new research into excessive sitting. The jist of the report is a variety of sitting and standing and moderate activity will most benefit us and help prevent diabetes, cardiovascular disease, premature death, disability, depression, weight gain, and even some cancers.

    (Note: The audio file is online at the URL below. The audio file is a 21min23secs file and contains 4 reports, and the topic “Are We All Sitting Ducks?” is the 1st report. (If you want to get a copy of this report you can download the entire audio file…simply click on the download button. BTW: the graphic is useful…load the link and right-click and save to disk.)

    http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/2014/03/22/2014-03-22-1/

    Are you sitting comfortably? Well, you might not want to be. That’s because many researchers say that “sitting is the new smoking.” We’re seeing more evidence, on almost a daily basis, about the health impacts of too much sitting. But does the evidence really stand up? We’ll investigate.

    Posted by gjpaul | 23 March, 2014, 1:39 am
  3. Ducky, were you able to play the link audio file ? If not, I’ve posted it on my blog… gjpaul.wordpress.com/i-am-gjpaul/

    I’ve also posted another information audio file…How Loneliness Can Make You Sick.

    btw: I wanted to post the graphics files, but they’re too big and won’t fit. Do you have a tumbler account I could use ?

    Posted by gjpaul | 23 March, 2014, 9:51 pm
  4. ” Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who Love, time is eternity “

    Posted by Gregory J Paul | 26 March, 2014, 1:47 am
  5. Every thing good in this life is only by God, and God gave Jesus to provide those to ALL, also for they which Love God and God’s Son Jesus.

    April begins the season of spring, the return of light and life on earth. April is the Holy fulfillment of God’s Love for ALL humankind, including animalkind, with God’s Son Jesus, and the trial of His Love for humankind, and His crucifiction. The suffering Jesus experienced, both His body and Soul, gave Him to relate to the suffering of others, and the Holy powers to Heal the ‘sick/lost’ and redeem the faithful.

    Let us Pray Jesus returns to the earth now, and defeats the cosmic power which suffers all lives. God and Jesus’s will is ALL know life in the presence and company of God, and the goods of life for evermore. Blessed are they which Rejoice in Jesus and April.

    Posted by gjpaul | 6 April, 2014, 1:24 am
  6. Ducky, I had an islamic commenter on my blog last thursday (2014-04-03) and I refuted his religion in a few sentences… he hasn’t commented since, but I don’t know if he’s visited me this week. I, however, did get a visitor from Columbia on saturday (2014-04-06)…. do you think there’s a ‘connection’ ? ( this idea came to me as I lay in bed, and I wonder if it was Jesus warning me, or simply all the media reports on ‘te.or..t cells ‘. )

    Posted by gjpaul | 7 April, 2014, 10:40 am
  7. I’m awfully curious if you and Sam are on the FB? I participate in a very fun Atheist/Christian debate over there….

    Posted by kellsbellsfrompc | 11 April, 2014, 1:44 pm
    • They were hooning around with the .22 for the purpose of shooting the guys car with!What kind of southern-hick-Alabama-lynch-mob mentality is that? Fuck charging them with misuse of a firearm… charge the arseholes with attempted murder.Who lets these yokels breed?

      Posted by sample auto rates Texarkana | 7 June, 2017, 6:38 am
    • I wanted to get a percpective on the important events or things in the history of the world. Obviously the asension being one of them, but is one event held to higher regards than another, or is certain events more important, for example.Creation – God showing love by creating communion with men.Promises – Noatic, Moseic, Abrahamic….Prophecies – The coming ChristBirth of ChristTeaching of ChristDeath of ChristAscension of ChristNew Creation

      Posted by http://baufinanzierung7x24.info/ | 31 August, 2017, 3:59 am

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