Quackery
Fiction, Poetry

First Flight

seagulls-wicklund“I can’t. I’m afraid.”

You’re a gull. You must.”

“But my wings are weak, and the wind is strong.”

I will be right behind you. I will catch you if you fall.”

The young gull spread his wings and felt the earth fall beneath his feet. The breeze brushed along his feathers and led him down a leisurely spiral towards the sea, his heart racing and voice screeching as he eased onto the sand.

The mother gull swooped past and unleashed a proud squawk.

The youngling somersaulted in the wind, snagged a crab, and disappeared into the sluggish dawn.

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About Quackzalcoatl

Phoneticist, Palindrologist, and freelance Sharknadologist. Inventor. Ruler of 2-acre lakes and small streams.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “First Flight

  1. A nice idea. My only worry was ‘felt the earth sink beneath his feet’ – was he on the ground to start with, because I didn’t get any sense of him rising before he went down to the sea.

    Posted by claireful | 4 October, 2013, 8:44 am
  2. Wonderful descriptions!

    Posted by lingeringvisions by Dawn | 4 October, 2013, 11:16 am
  3. I like where you went with this, although I had the same feeling as Claire mentioned–he did seem to up before he went down. “Feeling the earth sink” indicates he’s on the ground. Then suddenly he’s coming back down but we have seen him go up. As an example of what I mean, “The young gull spread his wings, seeing the earth fall away.The breeze brushed along his feathers, then led him down a leisurely spiral towards the sea.” (Just a quick idea, not trying to tell you what to write.) But I enjoyed his learning moment, overcoming his fear of flying and then enjoying it.

    janet

    Posted by sustainabilitea | 4 October, 2013, 12:12 pm
    • The young gull is too afraid to look. So he will feel it fall away.

      The sensation of the earth sinking, or falling, away, as opposed to sinking into. Feel and fall have nice symmetry. Thanks for the suggestion. I always value input from other creators of art!

      Posted by Quackzalcoatl | 4 October, 2013, 12:59 pm
  4. “And disappeared into the sluggish dawn” perfect ending to an excellent story! 😀

    Posted by Linda Vernon | 4 October, 2013, 3:38 pm
  5. I was going to say almost exactly what Linda said… really liked that last line! I also enjoyed the dynamic of parent and young gull.

    Posted by talesfromthemotherland | 5 October, 2013, 2:35 am
  6. Dear Quackz,

    I would have bet money that you would be the one to describe first flight so well. Good job. Loved the youngling’s flip right away. Perfect story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Posted by dmmacilroy | 5 October, 2013, 4:57 am
  7. Dear Quackz,

    You put me in the moment and I enjoyed the flight. Good one.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    Posted by rochellewisoff | 5 October, 2013, 4:58 am

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